Every child from a parent is a distinct individual. A child may even have the same pointed nose of the father or the same curly hair of the mother, but deep inside, the child is different in many ways from their parents and siblings. Likewise twins may look the same in most of their physical features; however one half of the twin is still different in many ways from the other half.
I have two sons and a daughter. My eldest son was very active when he was in school. He was the school prefect when he was in primary and secondary schools. He participated in many of the school's extracurricular activities as well as competed in many competitions representing his school. He was also doing well in his studies.
My other son however was a quite boy and will avoid attention as much as he could. When he was in his primary school, the only time he represented his school was in an English theatre competition when he was in standard six. In spite of this, I did not label or grade my sons in any way then because for me they are different and their difference is special in making them an individual.
My second son now is in his secondary school and this year he is sitting for his SPM national examination. He had gradually bloomed to be an active student. I attribute this to the coaxing from my wife and I as well as the examples that he had emulated from his elder brother. He was selected to be the school prefect when he was in form two and also joined the school's police cadet. He has also been progressing well on his study.
Last April, I asked my second son why he is still performing his duties as a school prefect though it is already four months down the year. It is very common in all schools, even when I was in secondary school and when my eldest son was preparing for this SPM examination two year ago, school prefects who are going to sit for their national examinations are released of their duty very much early of the year.
He told me that the Disciplinary teacher had instructed all school prefects to continue their duties until the end of the year. I discussed the importance for him to prepare for his exam and he agreed to inform the Disciplinary teacher that he will slowly released himself from duty to prepare for his exam. I told my son that if the teacher needs to speak to me, let her have my number.
After that, I was informed by my son that the Disciplinary teacher was not happy with my son's action. It seems that though most of the students in form five were not happy that they were still performing their duties, none of them dared to go against the Disciplinary teacher's instruction. As my son received my support, he went through it by himself.
In May, I attended the "Parents meet the teacher" session. This is the session to discuss on the children's education progress as well as to share the latest report card. I highlighted to the form teacher about the abnormality of the school still insisting the form five students to perform their duties just as the SPM exam is just round the corner. In fact I wrote a note in my son's report card for the school to take action on this matter at the suggestion of the teacher.
Apparently after this the Disciplinary teacher started to approach my son in a more negative manner until one day she asked my son not to wear the school prefect's uniform and instead wear the normal school's uniform. She seems to insinuate that my son was sacked as I have never known of any school giving such instruction even after the school's prefect relinquishes their duties. After all, it was only six months more before the end of the year and by giving that strange instruction meant that I would have to buy new pairs of school uniform for my son. When my son told me about it, I told him to ignore the instruction and to give the Disciplinary teacher my mobile number as I would like to discuss this matter with her personally. Apparently she refused to give me a call.
She then told my son that he was not fit to become a school's prefect. My son had been the school prefect for the past four years, the longest serving prefect at the school. I immediately went to the school after I knew about this. I managed to discuss this matter with the school's principal and eventually the whole incident was sorted out. The school principal decided to put all form five school's prefects on passive duties and will eventually relinquish their duties a couple of months before the SPM examination.
The whole saga was really different than what I had experienced when I was in school. My teachers showed a lot more finesse in educating the young generation. As any other individual, children require love and respect.
Of course there are bound to be children who may require a lot more attention due to their attitude and behavior, and I believe these are very small in numbers. However, there should be some focus on source of symptoms rather than generalising all symptoms and providing one single antidote.
The teachers and parents should ideally partner in building a young generation of thinking and free individual. Discipline is a matter of pride and it has nothing to do with instructions top to bottom with full compliance and expectating no questions asked. A thinking and free young generation will encourage them to explore the unknown territories responsibly and innovate to progress themselves. We can trust our young generantion.
